Last night I had a new adventure, I went three rounds with a stinkbug. I think that's what it was. It was shaped like an old time shield and had a pointy nose. It was David and Goliath, but Goliath and an old TV guide won the match this time.
I heard him before I saw him. Getting ready for work yesterday morning, I found him seemingly trapped in the cover to the overhead light in my little TV room. Mikey likes to leave the doors open to catch the breeze and the little nuisance must have flown in by mistake and been unable to find his way outdoors again. I started to spray him then but was in a hurry and figured he might get lucky and disappear before I got home. Last night while watching "My Name is Earl", I heard him flying again. Drat! There went my concentration on the plot to Earl as I searched for the bug. I found an old TV guide in the trash can. Properly armed (I thought) I sneaked up on him as he lit on the closet door and WHAP, WHAP, WHAP!!! He fell to the floor. Good eye, good aim! I went back to Earl. Not ten minutes later, I see the same bug climbing up my pole lamp. I hadn't killed the beastie, I'd only knocked him out!!
Again, I reached for my trusty TV guide and whacked him again. Again he fell motionless to the floor and I gave him another couple of shots to make sure I killed him this time. Figured I'd clean up the mess during a commercial. Earl was winding up and now I guess I'm going to have to catch the rerun as I missed some funny stuff. I segued into "The Office" which is only mildly amusing compared to Earl. I was getting up to go get ice cream and would you believe??!! That darned bug is crawling up the light pole again. What a stupid bug going back to the scene of the crime!! This time I was ready. After giving him a couple of sharp slaps with my weapon, he fell to the floor. I tore a page out of the TV guide and squished what was left of his little life out in 14 different directions and threw him in the trash.
As Boston Legal came on, I sat in my chair warmed by my final victory and surrounded by an awful stench. I guess he got me after all...did I mention he was a stinkbug?
1 comment:
Seriously, Folk(s), after you knocked him out, why not squssh his stupid guts with your shoe?
You're the reason we are losing the war on insects. Didn't you see that Orkin commercial?
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