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March 23, 2006

Things That Go Bump...

I'm not so naive that I don't understand that Hollywood starts most of the trends we follow in America. Ladies wore their hair over one eye to imitate Veronica Lake (by the way, once she cut her hair, her star status began to fade). Everyone wore shoulder pads ala Joan Crawford and I still like that look. We saw guys wear tee shirts with their cigarettes rolled into the sleeves like James Dean and pompadours were popular thanks to The King.

The current trend I see in my trashy mags is my new pet peeve for the day. It's the obnoxious reference to pregnant movie stars as having or showing a "baby bump." Variations to "the bump" appear daily on websites, magazines and in entertainment news being spoken by seemingly intelligent people. Having carried children, I can assure you that "bump" is a stupid term for the appearance and the feeling of carrying around an extra 20 to 30 pounds. A "bump" is a mosquito bite, a zit, a rash, a measle, or a road obstacle...but certainly not a baby!!

C'mon Hollywood and everyone else who uses this ignorant term...just stop it! It's demeaning to the mama and the baby. And it's passe. Drop it already!! There ~ I feel much better!

March 21, 2006

Breaking Spring, Breaking Hearts

Although springbreak is still officially going on for another couple of weeks, Texas Week came to an end and the hordes of hormonically driven teens have mostly left the Island. They left a sea of trash on the roads, beaches and parking lots but the city workers have miraculously made it disappear. There's still work to be done, but it's safe to go back in the water again.

My heart is sad though. There were two deaths which is two too many. The young man who fell to his death was staying with his fraternity at a home around the corner from us. We had heard them partying all week and they were having a good time. I heard the carousing that evening but never heard anything including the ambulance after I went to bed. I kept wondering how the other boys must be feeling knowing that they had no idea when they checked in that they wouldn't all be together at going home time. The other young man was swimming in view of the shore with friends but still got caught up in the current and drowned. Neither was doing anything that hadn't been done by lots of other partiers on the island. But there are two mamas and two daddies who started out last week with sons and began this week planning funerals. My heart goes out to them. They never expected springbreak to end this way. I'm praying for them all.

Young people always think it won't happen to them, that they'll live to see another day, that they'll grow up, get married, have their own kids...doesn't always work that way. Teach your children well!

March 14, 2006

It's Not Just Bells that Bong

I had to work last Saturday. The phone rang just enough during the day to keep me from nodding off. Even other agents weren't showing property and trying to maneuver clients around springbreakers!

I started the day off by getting some keys made for a new listing (thank you Jesus and Baby Sister!) and went by the ACE Hardware Store on my way in to the office. I was laughing with the checker about the fact that they were even open. Springbreakers were everywhere and it wasn't even 9 in the morning yet. She said that they had been really busy. The day before, she said they had made about 14 keys for breakers who'd been on the island less than 24 hours and had already lost their room keys. The motel owners charge you a hefty fee to replace a key. They did better paying a couple of bucks at the hardware store!

That wasn't the only money not going for cheap tee shirts and plastic beads. I had driven by one of the many souvenir shops and noticed that they were selling "beer bongs" for $.99. I never did drugs, but I thought bongs were for smoking dope. I figured that these smartie pants college kids had figured a way to smoke beer. Who'da thunk it??!! I mentioned this phenomenon to the checker and the manager who was making my keys. They said that bongs are tubes with a funnel at one end and someone's mouth at the other. Partygoers pour beer in the funnel and it goes directly into the swallower. That little sport has been enlarged to having the swallower on the ground and the tube rising upwards of a second or third story balcony. Now isn't that just about the most stupid thing you've ever heard of? I guess they never consider the choking and possible drowning that could occur. And by the way, the manager said that they had sold tubes in 30' and 40' lengths. Checker reported that they had sold out of funnels.

All of this at a hardware store! Wonder if the shell shops are doing as well?

March 10, 2006

Drawing a Bead on Spring Breakers

I have to laugh. This morning Baby Sis and I changed our regular morning walking route and walked home on the main drag of Padre Blvd instead of the quieter Gulf Blvd. The time was about 8:10 a.m. and we were solving the problems that we didn't get to on yesterday's walk. From out of nowhere comes this black car full of young boys who seemed awfully full of piss and vinegar for that hour of the morning. They were hooting and hollering at us like we were some kind of wonderful. The thought ran through my head to flash them and see if they threw any beads at us. Blessedly the thought exited my brain before I had a chance to act on it. Wouldn't that have set those boys back a few years??

Then, at lunch, we were at one of our favorite places trying to eat before the spring breakers woke up and jammed the place. They were playing Beach Boys music pretty loud for the crowd that was there at the time. The owners had an area set up outside and a big sign that noted there was no cover charge and you could eat until 2:00 a.m. I don't think my crowd was their target. You know what happens when we try to eat at 2:00 a.m., assuming we're even awake! At any rate, once we got our tea, we're looking around the inside of the restaurant and saw an even bigger sign promoting tonite's panties contest. I asked what you had to do to enter and was told that you just have to pin your panties to this big board they had. I asked if Depends counted and they laughed...nervously.

In truth, you KNOW I'm not going to flash young boys for beads or pin my panties anywhere but on a clothesline. Still, it's nice to be asked!

March 9, 2006


Well, the island is bracing for Texas Week, March 13 - 17 and maybe the weekends before and after. I have heard horror stories about the traffic here during that time. It will be interesting to see what all goes on. There are quite a few springbreakers here already from other schools, some from as far away as Ohio. I have to question where they get the money to fly down here from Ohio, get rooms which aren't cheap and party like there's no tomorrow. I know they're spending lots on booze. I don't think there could be a spring break without Budweiser! The truck is usually restocking the little Citgo store across from the office when I come in. He's even had to come back a time or two during the day. That's too much dang beer!!! The bungee jump thing across from Louie's Backyard is already open. There are these contraptions made from chain link fence that are already in place up and down Padre Blvd. in anticipation of the traffic jams. There are a couple of girls renting the house next door and their stupid car alarm goes off night and day. They'll be here for the month of spring break. I have heard that I will be mooned and boobed...or whatever you call girls flashing their, well, boobs for cheap plastic beads. Now, won't that make some mother proud!? And me with no beads. I'm probably not going to be their big target anyway.

They say that the trick is to get your running done, buy earplugs, rent movies, and be home by 2:00 in the afternoon. Guess I'll try that. Ahhh...I love this place!