Mea Culpa!

I did a really stupid thing today. I won't go into what exactly I did, but it was the dumbest thing on record so far! The minutes I did it, I was sorry...not just sad for my lack of judgment, but really, grieving type sorrow. I've apologized to the party concerned, but the point I wanted to make was that it made such an impression on me. An impression not to repeat that behavior...ever!
I've been reading The God Chasers by Tommy Tunney and I highly recommend it if you've noticed something missing in your walk with the Lord. One of the points that he so adeptly makes in the book is that coming face to face with God is not the same thing as being under the anointing. I've been in those very special situations where the anointing was strong, either on me or around me, and it is glorious. It's like the old song "Mountaintop" by Eve (did I spell that right?). You get under that cloud of glory and you never want to leave.
The book mentions Isaiah's encounter with the Lord (He was high and lifted up and his train filled the Temple) and the first thing he says is, "Woe is me, I am a man of unclean lips." The nearness of God is most uncomfortable for the flesh as God demands holiness. Isaiah is in no way comfortable with the magnitude of his vision. The angel comes down to Isaiah and touches his mouth with a hot coal from the altar of God.
I'm reading along, praying as I go that I could get beyond the outer court, the inner court, and into God's presence. I think it's working to a degree because I felt so inadequate, so guilty, so in need of a cleansing today. I'll never be perfect in this lifetime, but I'm at least striving to be made more aware than ever before of the areas when I need to repent. I'm not as near perfect as I've lead myself to believe! I'll get to that glorified state one day in heaven...but in the meantime, "Woe is me!"